Strontium Goat

When I was seven Miss Waters told me my singing was flat and I had to stand in the back row and mime.  I also had to wear thick NHS specs and so was not allowed to take part in the Nativity play... 'Mary wouldn't wear glasses dear'  I was always an angel (back row again, so I didn't have to move about the stage tripping over things (glasses off, of course - I was blind as a bat))  Honestly you can't imagine a teacher saying that to a child these days can you?

Anyway, psychologically scarred by this as I am, I don't sing/perform in public - which I guess has saved me from appearing on X Factor to be mocked by the nation.   But then the opportunity  to be a part of the Strontium Goat pre-union tour was offered to me - and who could turn down something like that?

My first choice was to be the drummer, as virtually my only musical knowledge relates to the paradiddle (other than a rather worryingly detailed knowledge of Billy Bragg lyrics that is) but Phil bagsied that role so I opted to be the bass player.  I always thought bass players were the coolest members of the band anyway.

We had remarkably little rehearsal time (this was a pre-union tour remember - we could do all that stuff in the future) but Clara did a fabulous job with the songs, which she recorded professionally and we had some great t shirt slogans sorted.

Come the big night we even had a support band - Jordan warmed the crowd up nicely for us and we came on to rapturous applause.  We did a full set and the songs seemed to go down very well.  The Goatees looked brill and we all sounded excellent.  I didn't actually have to play you understand, and although I did sing I didn't have a microphone and you couldn't hear me.... I might as well have been standing at the back miming!

I think my kids were a bit embarrassed but I bet Lourdes wishes her mother would stop making a show of herself too.

I can quite see the attraction of super-stardom from the brief taste I had .. the fame!...the adulation!....the money!  OK, I didn't actually see any of that, but it was a great buzz whilst it lasted.  Perhaps I will try out for the X factor after all....